Wham Bam Spam And Scam

Every day, I get several hundred e-mails, some days over a thousand. A lot of these are spam - according to a recent Doubleclick survey 62% of the mail in our inbox is considered SPAM.

But I don’t use a spam blocker - I don’t like them. I have plenty experience of sending e-mails to my friends who, when asked, tell me they didn’t receive them. I use different e-mails from yahoo and MSN when I’m signing up for newsletters and free offers around the net - I keep my main personal e-mail pretty restricted.

The other thing is - and please don’t hate me for this - I don’t really mind spam. I don’t like it for sure and I would never spam anyone myself - but neither do I think that all spammers are evil monsters with the horns, pointy tail, cloven hooves and pitchfork ensemble.

Of course, I’m not trying to sell anybody anti-spam software so I think this could have something to do with it.

I have a delete key on my keyboard, which I can use to delete multiple e-mails - it’s power and efficiency is awesome, one minute they’re there, the next they’re toast!

I draw a distinction between a spammer and a scammer. They can be one and the same but not always. But let me tell you what really hacks me off in the wonderful world of internet e-mail marketing. Two things, let the rant begin:

Shotgun Gurus

Gurus who operate lists which bombard you with offers and information completely unrelated to the original topic you signed up for.

As far as I’m concerned the fact that I opted in to some information course about building an e-mail list doesn’t give you the right to send me information on additives which will increase my fuel economy. Neither am I interested in being a keyword owner on your crappy word page or the free offer from your very good friend with the one time only opportunity to upgrade for only $300 before I even get to see the free offer. As for that great new software where the price might double sometime soon - take it and shove it.

RE: The Email You Never Sent

Like I said, I sometimes get over a thousand e-mails a day. However, I don’t often (autoresponders aside) send more than a dozen in any given day. They are usually important to me and sent to a relatively small group of friends and customers - so I can normally remember the subject line.

So, if you’re a guru, then the fastest way to get me to unsubscribe from your list - and ensure that I NEVER buy anything from you in future - is to send me an e-mail dressed up as a fake reply with the subject “RE: Whatever It Is You’re Trying To Sell Me This Time”.

If that’s the best you’ve got then you ain’t no guru. Get a proper job.

About The Author:
Hamish Hayward
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Article Submitted On: October 22, 2006
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